My Story
 

​​My story is about old family secrets and new world algorithm’s. More specifically, my struggle for the truth is the result of a decades old breach that I allowed to go undocumented, which led to a cascade of data-broker errors and, unfortunately, aggressive behavior from an in-person predator. But, my story is also about the strength I found through overcoming the past, a strength that is allowing me to walk forward today.

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When I had just turned twenty-one, I was told that my sweet but misguided younger sister had used my original birth certificate to make a driver’s license. I couldn’t have known at the time that my failure to make a report would lead to misdirected mail and more than one interaction of being identified as the wrong person or the right person with the wrong history.

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Fortunately, it was a time in which real life behavior mattered more than online errors. As I worked through the confusion, I became strong and self-reliant. The chaos receded, I earned my RN license, worked in the NICU, earned a certification in medical writing and an MA in literature, with the goal of becoming an advocate for new moms—then with speed and momentum, the past misinformation was upon me again.

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A Confluence of Factors

The old identity theft that I specifically ignored was magnified. I had married into a family that had some individuals (not all) who shared the less desirable qualities of my family of origin. Unfortunately, those qualities were magnified. And, I did nothing to protect myself —until I came face-to face with the long-term consequences of hoping for the best instead of taking action. 

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My turning point came one morning when I was in my yard, pruning my rain-washed roses: The air filled with a stench from my neighbor’s alcoholic breath. He asserted that the realtor/owner who sold me my house told him that I would “be a good fit” for the neighborhood (check back for more information about how relators use unaccountable data-brokers like Forewarn to put women in danger).  My drunk and very alert neighbor asserted that I should be willing to engage in his morally repugnant and illegal activities. When I remained silent, his slimy tone of voice increased in volume and his face turned beet red. He said, “I have the right.” And, he yelled across my yard that I should “be more accommodating”.  I didn’t actually see him commit a crime at that point, but as I maintained my composure, and his aggressiveness escalated to assault. Later, my relator made a follow-up call to me, and after I expressed concern about the neighbor, she offered to put the predator neighbor’s name in her elite background check, Forewarn (an offer that I now know is a violation of the terms of service for Forewarn). To this day, I shutter when I remember the words she used when she was showing me that house; my own realtor used the same words as the predator neighbor, “you’ll be a good fit.”​

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​My story is small compared to people who have been denied housing, jobs, community, and more based on our ever-growing access to a new kind of gossip and scapegoating. There are advocates and organizations focusing on various aspects of data misuse. My focus is  specific to women’s issues, with the hope that we can build a society that is safe for the next generation of women: 

 

“In keeping silent about evil, in burying it so deep within us that no sign of it appears on the surface, we are implanting it, and it will rise up a thousand fold in the future. When we neither punish nor reproach evildoers, we are not simply protecting their trivial old age, we are thereby ripping the foundations of justice from beneath new generations.”
― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago 1918–1956

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The Social Story

My first step in  Pushing back was to speak the truth by taking action: I moved to a community where the police have more power than a sales person with an unaccountable app and a “good relationship” with a predator.​ Still, I haven’t forgotten about the other women in my old community. And, as this second wave of misinformation recedes, I can see that my responsibility lies not only in asserting what is true about me, but in addressing a larger lie that we can protect ourselves by gathering information about others: Controlling this human tendency to spy and snoop on others rather than be personally responsible is more important today than ever before. AI comes with both the hope for progress and a warning we can’t ignore. Among the more courageous voices calling attention to the issue is Harvard Professor Shoshanna Zuboff (See Shoshanna Zuboff’s latest video here).​​​

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Today PII is more available with fewer safeguards, resulting in less accuracy—and and ever growing potential for bad actors to abuse anyone’s data. There are three factors related to this disconnect: One, algorithmic-based probabilities (guesses) are presented as data, rather than the probabilities that they are. Two, the legal system is unable to keep pace with predators who misuse data-bases and cause inaccuracies in the probability outcomes (educated guesses). Three, data-brokers intentionally take advantage of both AI’s fast-paced advancement and the legal system’s inability to keep up with these advancements: Most concerning is Forewarn, a data-mining broker that sells data to relators that is marketed as instant background checks. This unaccountable data-mining service uses legal loopholes to hide from accountability by claiming Gramm-Leach-Bailey Act (GLBA) and Drivers Privacy Protection Act (DLPA) exemptions. More insidious, Forewarn grants unearned, unelected power to realtors who can quietly correct errors in their own unaccountable reports, while consumers are met with unreasonable obstacles to the truth, a truth that involves legal transactions. Even judges, who we hold in high esteem in our communities, who have decades of education and accountability to the public, whether elected or appointed, don’t have secret, unaccountable power related to PII (stay tuned for more information about Forewarn).

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​Privacy for women isn’t simply about in-person politeness; it’s about safety and power: Misguided family members, vindictive in laws, mentally ill relatives, and especially relators can pave the way for crime in communities. Operating in the shadow of a 2023 anti-trust settlement for unjustly taking inflated commissions, relators who have an incentive to stay relevant when they are increasingly less relevant due to AI, have uniquely shown that they should not have unaccountable access to anyone’s PII. (Stay tuned for more information on how to protect yourself from relators).  

 

Today, I’m moving out of the current of lies. And, although my long-term goal of creating a website for new mom’s is on hold, I’ll be posting privacy updates for new moms here when I can. I’ll also be posting old poems on new on a new YouTube channel at Glowpoet for anyone who has been made to feel small; I’m new to video, and I’d love your thoughts. Moving forward, I excited to learn about how AI can create a community of safety for women, starting with researching women’s’ stories, so loopholes can be filled with protections.​ If you or someone you love has been affected by misinformation, please join our community of hope.

 

Please share your story: the mental space where your understanding lands—you’re walk along the shore between the dry and damp sand.

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